Saturday, July 11, 2015

Rape, Cosby Sympathizers, and the Patriarchy

It's been a while since I've been here. Heck, it's been a while since my http alighted on anything cult related, much less my mind about Abenseurs. My mind has drifted there recently because of some events.

For instance, could someone please tell me 1) if you all still camp at Lake Pemaquid in July and 2) which week, because I don't want to run into you. Seriously, none of us want that awkward moment of me in the bathing suit and you looking at me wondering if it's me and all of us wondering if we should just ignore that we might acknowledge an existence that we want to conveniently forget.  I would really like to avoid you as much as possible. I'm sure you really want to avoid someone possibly verbally assaulting me out of anger and hate. I am friends with the Damariscotta police department and that could be really awkward. Consider this information a courtesy to all parties involved. Goon, Man clan, please, find another campground at the very least. Much appreciated. Private facebook message me or email me if you still have it and don't want to make it public. I'm truly not interested in sharing your meeting times and shit. I just really really don't want to run into you while I'm trying to enjoy some beautiful scenery and fresh water.

However, because I was there yesterday, I got to thinking about things and ended up reading Simply Me's newest blog about the rape culture and apologists of the cult, and how it favors the transgressor and vilifies the victim.  Or perhaps, that was just the extremely rude commenter who wanted to make everyone standing up for their personal rights a person of the left, a person of evil and hate, and of course a liar.

Simply Me, being a stand-up character who recognizes the acts of impotence that are internet trolling, chose not to respond.  Well, I'm not above that, because we all know what a completely hateful creature I am and how I will stop at nothing to inflict pain and misery on innocent people. Because that's how I roll. Duh. (For those of you written-word tone-impaired, that was hyperbolic sarcasm).

Sure, Simply Me is a liar. They lied to themselves for YEARS. They lied to their parents for years. They lied to their family for years. A secret keeper is a liar, after all. Some lies are lies of omission, and some lies are tales of fancy. So you too, vengeful anonymous poster, are a liar. You are an exclusionary liar, and a fanciful one. You are lying to yourself if you think that people have fun being raped. You are lying to yourself if you think becoming a victim is a favorable thing. You are lying to yourself if you think people make up being raped to get attention. Hey guess what, I was never raped. What's your excuse for me? Oh, that's right, I'm hateful and my purpose in life is to destroy "innocent" lives. Goddamn my man-eating heart.

But seriously, my sister was raped. We all know she was raped. We all know by whom. We all know the family involved. And oh, wait, what's that? Is he is jail now? For misconduct of a sexual nature? Hmm, I wonder if she was lying? I sometimes lie awake wondering whose children he used to share pornographic pictures of. Or better yet, isn't the dad also a sexual deviant who has been convicted and placed on the national registry? Yes. Interesting how that story unfolded. Interesting how the true colors bled through a lifetime's worth of thin cover-ups and lies. Horrible how as a young man he never got help. I wonder if his life would have taken a different turn? I guess we will never know, will we?

These are, of course, just a taste of the "innocent" lives I've ruined with my fanciful story telling here.

Let's not forget also, Pnina's rape. Repeated rape. And her assailant is where again? Oh right, also in jail. But her parents? Where are they? Sheltered and probably thought of as mostly harmless, if anyone even thinks of them. Of course, they "didn't do anything wrong" so they are likely thought of as innocents as well. Except for that whole issue with the Dad's nighttime entry into a woman's home, and unwanted sexual advances that were never reported. But of course, we don't talk about how certain social workers and Cult officials covered that one up. At least I hope they took away the key to her house? One can only hope.

I just want to cheer that there is some example of karmic retribution in the world and for the monsters of this family. Hurray for divine justice. It doesn't undo the damage to the victims, but at least knowing they are seen for what they are, there is a peace in that.

And Sim? Well, I'd just like to send a steaming pile of shit to her attacker's front porch everyday for the rest of their life so that the stink of their defilement can follow them around.

Let's be clear, some people are just predators. Winks and smiles in public? That didn't even happen to me and I want to fucking puke and hit this guy (assuming) in the face with a Louisville slugger.  The real problem with a predator versus someone with a sexually deviant history is that predators are smart. They do not commit crimes of opportunity, like Pnina's Dad. They work very hard not to leave a trail. They stalk their prey and select them carefully, slowly dividing them from their herd. They continue to find ways to marginalize them. Eventually the shame of the thing and the defilement (which Niddah lessons really helped solidify) come to bear so heavily that a person becomes mired down by it. Victims are often kept silent by their own shame. Later, I will go into the aspect of victim shaming, or the "slut-shaming" culture for women who accuse men of stature of sexual assault. Because the patriarchy will always tell you, it's the woman's fault for being a temptress. However, these women are not Tamar, dressing themselves and tempting Judah in the desert in order to get a birthright. Get over yourselves you patriarchy asshats. (Ignoring the fact that Judah was only too happy to get this dick wet with a prostitute. Abba loved his flawed patriarchs didn't he? Those wily women and their wily ways of appealing to men's total inability to stop themselves from getting a hard on!) Women have a vagina. It's not our fault you are so power obsessed and vagina afraid that you have to rape women to feel like a man.  That's your own spiritual impotence. You know it. Perhaps, and just maybe, you shouldn't have "caught" Abba's sperm. I'm sure that affected your personal picture of what a man should be. Many of you were not and are likely still not homosexual, so I'm sure being a victim really fucked with your sense of testosterone and trying to live up to that whole "head of household" persona. I know there are men that took that leadership role to mean some very severe things. I think we all know what over-compensation looks like.

I'm going to bring up a fucking painful topic for some people.  Sim, you say you have to, as a woman in the family of marriage age, bear all your sexual history prior to marrying a priest?  Now as much as I love to hate on the patriarchy and how they vilify women,  I dare bring up a late 90's/early 2000 wedding where at least 2/3 of the bridal party wanted to back out because of known "issues" with this arrangement.  They were told by Abba that they HAD TO participate. They had to. We were also told during the retreat immediately preceding said wedding that our La Shon Hara was out of control and the Watchers were winning the battle for our souls and that we needed to mind our own fucking business, stat. Let's just go ahead and assume this was a wedding near and dear to his heart.  So yet again, the rules only apply to the sheep. Even if you're a woman. If you want to be involved with the right family, and someone higher up has a vested interest in keeping your family name beyond reproach, your indiscretions will be absolved.

Seriously, the entire debacle of that union and lots of peers KNOWING a non-virgin was marrying a priest, sent shock waves through the youth. Because we were somewhat clearly told by Abba to mind our own fucking business. Classic, man behind the curtain, nothing to see here, these are not the droids you're looking for, move along, bullshit.

Now, I'm a person, not a cult-member. So I just want to say to those two people who will probably hear about this later, Whatevs guys. Seriously, I don't give a fuck noodle about your sexual experience. I'm sure you have a rich and valuable family life. If there was forgiveness and re-virginification then good on you.  I simply wanted to use the known tale to point out, it matters not what you do in the family, it matters only who you are.

To further illustrate this point, how about when my sister (known to have been raped because the clanheads and elders did get involved) was dating a priest in the 90's, they were told to break up. I'm not even kidding. It was elucidated lightly and then more strongly over time to the boy that he couldn't be with her. He had a priestly duty to attend to. Because they fucking KNEW she had been raped. They knew it big time.  I'm sure it didn't help that we weren't the right family either and there was interest in a good boy from a nice family, well connected family, not getting involved with a troubled family, and with a girl known to be raped no less.

Just to sum up, you don't have to be a virgin if there's an interest in solidifying your connection to another family. But the rules totally apply to you if you are persona non-grata.

Similarly, I want to correct what Sim was told about Niddah and the souls of your future children. We were told at a Pennsylvania youth retreat in the 90's (about the same time as the announcement of the dynastic lineage) that the only sex that mattered was SPERM in VAGINA. That was from both Abba and Goon. Remember, this was Goon's first big teaching about the importance of the seed? I can still see the basement room where most of us sat on the floor while this was being taught. People were very confused by this.

Now, I can understand how the Family Hierarchy in recent years may have updated these Niddah teachings. I mean, people ARE asking questions and using some pretty decent critical thinking these days (if you believe the commenters on Sim's blog). So, it stands to reason that if the seed is EVERYTHING, and you want to try to pretend that you don't have a sexually deviant history with some questionable boundary setting, that you might want to amend that part of the charter, and fast. Lest people get the wrong idea.  Also, how old are the youth's kids now? They are, some of them, puberty age right? I can imagine them being ultra-conservative about everything. I can imagine them not wanting their kids to get pregnant. I can imagine some of them blanching about memories of steamy car windows and awkward hook-ups in their own youth and trying to pretend like there was no sexual gray area.

But be clear, the older youth, we were told that a woman remained a virgin unless the sperm hit her vagina. Talk about gray area and loose boundaries right?

Regarding rapist sympathizers: I wonder how many family members saw the coverage of Bill Cosby and the MANY women coming forward with rape and assault allegations and thought "opportunist whores." Seriously. Because that story continues to make national headlines. It's such a great example really of what happened in the Family.  Man of power, abuses power. Lord could only know why, because as people point out, the man probably didn't need to drug or coerce women in general to have intercourse.

But what he did, that wasn't about intercourse, was it? It was about power. It was about control. Why would you drug a woman to have intercourse with her? I mean, that is not even conjecture at this point. He bought quaaludes with the purpose in mind of giving them to women to have sex with him. By his own report.

And what are the apologist and sympathizers saying? He's a great man. These women were ne'er do wells. These women were sluts. These women were ladder climbing socialites nursing a grudge because they were cast aside. These women just want the money. These women want attention. These women are hopping in the bandwagon. These women are just full of hate and out to ruin a great man.

Seriously, read the blog comments for four years and you'll see the same bullshit.

That's what is it. It's apologist bullshit. The Cosby Show was fucking great. Really, I really liked it. It made me feel good. I loved Rudy, she was fucking awesome. The jokes were spot on. But that was the show Cosby put on. He wasn't Cliff Huxtable, no matter how much we wanted him to be. And Jack Hickman was not Abba, or Jacob the prophet, or James the brother of Jesus either. He put on a show. He hid his private life. Sometimes well, sometimes not so well. But it was a show. And we may have loved his show, and it may provided meaning to life, but it was a lie. It was fake. It was a persona he put on like an actor takes a role.

So readers, when you see George go to Jail what do you think? What did you think when David went to jail? What about Bill? Was he falsely accused? Were the women attention seeking, whore/slut liars with nothing else to do with their fucking precious time than ruin the life of a"great man?" What about the CHILDREN in David's pictures. Are they attention seeking? Were they trying to ruin his life? Were they sluts and whores with a revisionist history?

Bill Cosby admitted to buying drugs for the express purpose of giving them to women with whom he wanted to have intercourse. Without their knowledge.

Jack Hickman admitted to sexual misconduct and the passing of the seed.

Just let that sink in a minute.

Now let it sink in how many YEARS Cosby has denied any wrongdoing and publicly shamed the women involved in accusations as upstart liars and sluts.

Then, he goes on the offensive offering advice and admonitions with the message that HE does it all right. HE knows the right way to live. If only people would listen to HIM them could pull themselves out of the gutter and into the light.

I'm sorry, does this sound familiar to anyone else?

Sexual assault is not about sex. It's not about wanting to have intercourse. It's about power and wanting and needing to have power over another human being. It's about finding a victim that satisfies your cravings. The more pathetic the better (in many cases) because who would believe them?

The Family has a long history of this type of behavior. Slut shaming women who sat in steamy cars with Jack's favorites existed. The men, well they were just a pile of hormones, faultless, tempted by the beguiling vagina. It wasn't their fault. It was the women.

But what about David? What about Lev? I mean, what happened to those guys? They were barely even "guys" when all the accusations against them started. Barely. What happened to them? What about Lou? What about Dennis? What about those brothers that raped that girl in that boat that time? What about that Greg guy? What about the other boys that became men who did things, who were accused of things?

They don't have vaginas, so that whole slut shaming thing doesn't work.  Were these guys hurt? Did something happen to them? Why would they act the way they did? I mean, some of them were Abba's boys! They knew better. They knew the covenant, and the rules, and why would they do what they did?

5 comments:

  1. I can tell you that the Family will be there all this week and this weekend.

    I do remember Abba saying that sperm has to enter the vagina to make a woman not-a-virgin. However I also remember lots of discussion and questions later on, some of which abba answered. Someone specifically asked about oral sex. He gave his usual half-assed indirect answer. I remember him saying that oral sex is cultural and wasn't practiced then or something. But I also remember him saying that what was important was sperm entering the woman's body- not necessarily just the vagina, but her body. Maybe I am not remembering it correctly. The conclusion I drew from the whole thing at the time is that virginity didn't mean you never had sex, it simply meant spern never made it in.
    Whatever. I don't really give a fuck. It's all bs.

    I did not know about the controversy surrounding that retreat wedding, if it's the one I am thinking of. I remember A by F marrying Mike Van, and at the same time Tamar T married Adam V. I think. Mike isn't a priest, so I am assuming it's the other couple. Makes sense, given the 2 families involved.

    "Revirginification". Best. Word. Ever.

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  2. The victim shaming was also done by Bill Clinton. All the women through the years who complained about his conduct. Maybe he was taught by this cult. Oral sex wasn't sex either. Maybe he has that same BS of sperm/ vagina also. Hilary also discredited all those women. Typical of many wives of these type of men, but not all. George was divorced. People should think about how she lives her life when she gets to run for president. People check their morals and values at the door when they want something or a position so bad they do sell their souls. Hilary blamed the Right Wing Conspiracy. The cult blamed the girls/women and never the predator. TYPICAL patterns. Externalization at it's best! Sexual abuse is always about power and control. And yes, the rules don't apply to everybody, in the cult or the outside world. The Clintons will always think they are above the law. Some are more special than others. That inner circle reigns. Always has and apparently, always will. These families aren't going anyplace. There is too much at stake and they are the benefactors from this lie. This Ponzi scheme is taking good care of them and their families. the whole thing is so sick.

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  3. Actually, Tamar is a shy kind of person. If she had this kind of history, I highly doubt it would have been common knowledge. I highly doubt that was her history, period. Either way, that's not who I was referring to. Also, the point was not the who involved, but the how and the why.

    The anons talking about the Ponzi scheme, eh. I would agree with you circa the 1970's to the 2000's. After Jack died in 2004, tithing kind of slowed down. Don't get me wrong, there were meetings I attended and private conversations I had with people about how bad it was that the money was slowing down, but I don't think that changed the inflow.

    Not only that, you cannot fathom the intermarriage. The marriage of each family in the Family to another family and the crazy family trees that now exists, the mind boggles. If there is a pool of money, it's more likely a savings account for the apocalypse at this point. MOST of the families left are either fully inner circle, or married into inner circle or mishpacha'd into a circle. And with people not truly tithing, but maybe instead giving money to charities (granted either in or out of the Family), there's no scheme.

    How all these people gave up lucrative careers, real estate, etc to suddenly move to Maine, THAT could be a topic of financial oversight issues. But even still, that was anywhere from 13-16 years ago at this point. I mean, who would care?

    The other money issue is really the "kids" are all grown up now. Before and during my exit, there was plenty of talk and issues surrounding, what do these kids do? Many of them needed to start careers. But starting a career means NOT living in central Maine. As Maine economies go, that central valley region is destitute. I have friends who live there, or parents lived there, and they all pretty much left (non-cult friends I met in college). The exception might be those who found higher education opportunities or healthcare. Maybe that explains why SO many Family kids went to school for healthcare? Its a cost-effective career, and one needed in the rural areas.

    But other people could not stay in that region and had to move. In the onslaught of the prophecies (do they still have those?) with all the talk of beasts and judgment, I think people really had to weigh out, real world concern for career and financial stability, and the possibility that this might be all be true and they really needed to be near to the bunker. I think if you know where people live now, you know which concern won out.

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  4. Hi! Its been a year or so and I pop in every once in a while to see how its going. Since the activity is low I have to think things are good with you and sim too. With all the goings on in the world I thought the powers that be would be using it as confirmation for some old stale predictions espoused by the would be royalty.
    Anyway, hope you are well.
    -Ray

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